Why We Reach for Sugar (and What’s Really Going On)

Sugar Cravings and the Biscuit Tin: From Self-Criticism to Self-Care

As someone who has suffered from sugar cravings, I know how powerful they can feel. One minute you are getting on with the day, and the next you are munching on a packet of chocolate digestives or reaching for a bag of Percy Pigs, almost on autopilot. It is very easy for this to slide into self-criticism and shame and to feel as though we are failing in some way.

For many people, this is happening against the backdrop of real life pressures. You may be working, caring for children and/or grandparents or just trying to hold everything together. In that context, our relationship with sugar is rarely just about food. It is about survival, comfort, and getting through the day.

For me, this is not a story about willpower or being “good” with food. It is about understanding what is happening in our bodies and minds, and finding kinder, more realistic ways to look after ourselves when sugar is calling.

What is really going on with sugar cravings

When we eat something sugary, our blood sugar rises quickly. We might feel a rush of energy, a lift in mood, or a sense of comfort and ease. After that high, the blood sugar drops again, which can leave us feeling tired, flat, irritable, or unfocused. That dip often triggers another craving, and so the cycle begins.

Cravings are not only about physical hunger. They can also be about emotion, habit, tiredness, and the nervous system looking for a way to regulate itself. Sugar can soothe, distract, or give a small moment of pleasure in a life that feels demanding or overwhelming. When we begin to see cravings as signals, rather than failures, there is more room for curiosity and compassion.

If you have children, this picture can intensify. Broken nights, constant demands, and having very little time to yourself can leave you emotionally and physically exhausted. In that state, your body quite naturally looks for quick energy and comfort. Grabbing a sugary snack or calling it “dinner” can feel like the only realistic option some days.

When biscuits feel easier than cooking

I often hear clients talk about those evenings when even the idea of making a simple meal is just too much. You might recognise this too. You may be exhausted from work, caring responsibilities, or emotional strain. If you have children, there may be homework to help with, baths to run, arguments to referee, and endless small tasks that mean you do not sit down until late. The thought of deciding what to cook, preparing the food, and facing the clearing up can feel cumbersome.

I have had evenings where I have opened the fridge, seen the food that is there, and still ended up with a packet of biscuits, because in that moment it just felt easier. If that sounds familiar, you are in very good company.

It can feel like the only bit of ease you have given yourself all day. On some level, it is an attempt at self-care, even if it does not quite nourish you in the way you might hope over time.

For some people, this looks like replacing a meal entirely with snacks, finishing the children’s leftovers and then “topping up” with chocolate, or eating late at night once everyone else is finally in bed. This is often about emotional fatigue rather than laziness. Our systems are overloaded and go straight to the quickest, simplest form of relief. Cooking, even something as straightforward as an omelette or a bowl of soup, can feel like climbing a mountain when your emotional tank is empty.

One gentle step is simply to notice what is happening in that moment. You might ask yourself, what feels so hard about cooking right now? Am I tired, lonely, overstimulated, or simply done for the day? You do not then have to force yourself to cook a full meal. You are just beginning to see the need underneath the biscuits.

Boredom and the urge to snack

Boredom is another very common driver of sugar cravings. When life feels flat or repetitive, our minds naturally look for something to break up the day, to add a bit of colour or interest. Wandering into the kitchen, opening cupboards, and picking at snacks can become a way of filling time as much as filling the stomach.

You might notice yourself standing in front of the fridge without really knowing how you got there. In that moment, sugar offers a small burst of novelty and pleasure. It punctuates the day. With children, the boredom may not come from lack of activity, but from a sense of repetition, the same routines, the same battles, the same tasks. Reaching for something sweet can be a small way of saying, “Something for me, in all of this.”

Again, there is nothing “wrong” with you for doing this. It is your mind trying to create some sort of change in an otherwise dull or stuck feeling. If you can catch yourself and gently name it, for example, I am not actually hungry, I am bored and restless, or I am craving a break, you begin to build a different kind of awareness. From there, you might ask, what else, however small, could shift my energy right now? A short walk, a stretch, a phone call, changing tasks, or even stepping into a different room can help. None of these have to be perfect. They just offer another way of caring for that restless feeling.

The messages we get from TV and films

It is not just our own lives that shape how we use sugar, it is also the messages we absorb from the world around us. Think about how often, in TV shows and films, a character goes through a breakup or a terrible day and the next scene is them on the sofa with a big tub of ice cream. The story being told is clear: this is what you do to feel better.

Over time, these images sink in. Without us realising, we begin to link feeling low with “I should eat something sweet, that will help”. There is comfort in that idea, and sometimes it can bring a little bit of relief. But it can also leave us feeling as though food has to carry all of our pain, when in reality what we often need is comfort, support, and space for our feelings, not only another spoonful of ice cream.

Grief, loss and sugar cravingsWhen we are grieving, eating can change dramatically. Some people lose their appetite altogether, while others find themselves turning more often to sugary, comforting foods just to get through the day. Grief is a huge strain on the nervous system, and the extra stress can increase cravings for quick energy and numbing comfort, especially from sweet, highly palatable foods. If you notice yourself relying on sugar more after a loss, this is not you being weak, it is a very human attempt to soothe pain and stay upright in something that feels unbearable.

The dopamine rush from sugar

Sugar does not only affect the body, it also has a strong impact on the brain. When we eat something sweet, the brain releases dopamine, a chemical linked to pleasure, reward, and motivation. That is part of why eating sugar can feel like such a relief, especially if we have been stressed, sad, overwhelmed, or endlessly “on” for other people.

Over time, the brain learns that sugar equals a quick way to feel a bit better. You may find that just thinking about certain foods, or seeing them in the cupboard, brings up a strong pull. That does not mean you are weak. It means your brain has built a connection between sugar and comfort.

I am not here to tell you to declare war on sugar. Instead, I am interested in helping you understand that your brain is doing its best to help you feel okay, and then gently widening the range of things that can bring you comfort and reward.

Eating sugar more mindfully

Sometimes the issue is not that we eat sugar at all, but how we eat it. You and I both know how quickly one biscuit can turn into five when we are tired or upset. The eating can become rushed and disconnected, and by the end you may barely have tasted it yet still end up feeling uncomfortable and guilty.

A different approach is to experiment with eating sugar more mindfully. You might say to yourself, I am going to have one and see what happens. Choose one biscuit or one Percy Pig and really give yourself permission to enjoy it. Notice the taste, the texture, the smell, and how your body feels as you chew and swallow.

Then pause. Take a breath and check in with yourself. Do I still really want another one, or is this enough for now? There is no right or wrong answer here. You might decide to have more, or you might be surprised to find that one has satisfied you more than you expected.

The point of this experiment is not to test your willpower. It is to bring awareness back into the experience so that you are making an active choice, rather than being carried away by habit. Over time, this can help you feel a little more in charge of your eating, without cutting out sweetness altogether.

Coming off weight loss medication and cravings

If you have been on weight loss medication, such as the newer injections, you might also notice changes in your cravings when you reduce or stop them. For some people, hunger and thoughts about food seem to spring back, sometimes more loudly than before. That can feel frightening, especially if you have worked hard to make changes and are worried everything will unravel.

In many ways, this is your body returning to its own appetite signals and trying to find its footing again. It is not you failing, it is a transition. At times like this, it can help to have extra structure with meals, a few steadying snacks you can rely on, and a lot of self compassion while you adjust. The emotional side still matters just as much here, because fear of regaining weight can easily feed shame and more urgent sugar eating.

Simple ways to support yourself

Living with strong sugar cravings can come with a lot of self-blame. You may promise yourself that tomorrow will be different, only to find yourself back at the biscuit tin by mid-afternoon or finishing the family snacks in the evening. Instead of adding more rules or more criticism, it can help to focus on a few small, compassionate supports:

• Eat regular, gentle meals. Long gaps between meals can make cravings much stronger. Even something very basic, like toast with eggs or a soup, can help steady your system.

• Plan for low energy days. Keep a few “good enough” options in the house for the times when you know you will not feel like cooking, especially on busy family days. For example, grab a handful of nuts. If you can’t eat nuts, then some Greek yoghurt with blueberries might do the trick. Biscuits are not your only quick choice.

• Build in tiny pauses. When a craving hits, take a moment to ask, what am I really needing right now? Comfort, rest, stimulation, connection, space from the noise, or just a break. Even if you still choose the biscuits, you are beginning to connect with yourself.

• Offer other small rewards. A favourite podcast while you tidy, a warm bath once the children are in bed, sitting with a book for ten minutes, watching tv or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air can all become alternative ways to give your brain a sense of care and relief.

• Talk to yourself kindly. When you do overeat sugar, try speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend. For example, no wonder I ate that today, there has been a lot going on. What would feel like the next kind step now?

From self-criticism to self-care

Sugar cravings can easily become tangled up with shame. You might tell yourself that you are out of control, greedy, or failing. But when we look more closely, cravings are often pointing toward something important, whether that is exhaustion, loneliness, stress, the relentlessness of parenting or a lack of small pleasures in daily life.

As someone who has suffered from sugar cravings, I know this is not a neat or linear process. There will be days that go well and days that do not. What matters is not perfection, but the direction you are moving in. Each time you pause, notice what is really happening, and respond with a little more gentleness, you are shifting from self-criticism to genuine self-care.

Over time, this can help you feel less at the mercy of the biscuit tin, and more in touch with what you truly need, both physically and emotionally. That is where real, sustainable change begins.

At Counselling with Lucy, I offer a warm, non-judgemental space to untangle what sits beneath your cravings, whether that is stress, grief, boredom, parenting exhaustion, or long held patterns around food and self-worth. Together, we gently make sense of these experiences so that you can move away from self-criticism and towards a steadier, more compassionate relationship with yourself, your body and with sugar.