An Ode to the Men in my Family and for Anyone who Relates to This Chief Listener. Zero Judgement. Unlimited Cuddles Chief Listener. Zero Judgement. Unlimited CuddlesNobody gave you permission. That is the problem. Not your dad, not your school, not the culture you grew up in. Nobody sat you down and said, "You are allowed to cry." You are allowed to be scared. You are allowed to fall apart a little, to be overwhelmed, to not know what to do next. Instead, most men received th

(For the purpose of this article, I’ll use the term gay. I am using this term for simplicity and honest writing for the reader, and it is not meant to offend anybody who might be reading this.) Cleocatra questioning my next move Cleocatra questioning my next move Nobody tells you that when someone you love comes out, you might need your own space to process it. This is that space. The Thoughts You Are Not Proud Of There is the shame that comes from worrying what other people

In outsourcing our body wisdom to wearables, podcasts, and wellness gurus, we may have silenced the most sophisticated health monitor ever made. It starts simply enough. You wake up feeling groggy, reach for your phone, and check your sleep score before you’ve even decided whether you feel rested. The number says 74. You were hoping for something in the eighties. Now, despite the fact that your body felt perfectly fine a moment ago, you feel tired. The app has spoken. This is

I was with family recently when I had a realisation. I happened to have glanced across the room towards my cousin, when something just hit me. It was in the set of his jaw and the way he smiled. I could see our grandmother, my father, his father, and other family members too. A lineage written right there in someone’s face. And with it came a sadness that is hard to explain. I am adopted. I’ve known this my whole life, and for the most part, I’m comfortable with it. My family

We are remarkably good at not feeling things. Honestly, if avoidance were an Olympic sport, most of us would be in the running for gold. We scroll, we stay busy, we pour another glass of wine, we say "I'm fine" so many times we almost start to believe it. And for a while, it works. Until it doesn't. Avoiding emotions is not a character flaw. It is a very human response to pain. But when it becomes a pattern, it shapes everything: how we relate to the people we love, how we fe

Every year, as March rolls around, the shop windows fill up. The cards, the flowers, the pastel gift sets with their neat little bows. The adverts show smiling women in dressing gowns being handed breakfast in bed, children with paint-smudged hands clutching wonky homemade cards. And for lots of people, that is exactly what Mother's Day feels like. Warm. Easy. Worth celebrating. But for a great many of us, it is not that simple. Not even close. This is the conversation I want

Sugar Cravings and the Biscuit Tin: From Self-Criticism to Self-Care As someone who has suffered from sugar cravings, I know how powerful they can feel. One minute you are getting on with the day, and the next you are munching on a packet of chocolate digestives or reaching for a bag of Percy Pigs, almost on autopilot. It is very easy for this to slide into self-criticism and shame and to feel as though we are failing in some way. For many people, this is happening against th

A new year can bring a strange mix of hope and pressure. There is often an expectation to reinvent yourself, to set bold intentions, to become a “better” version of who you are. Yet for many people, January arrives with something quieter and more complicated: exhaustion from getting through the previous year, a lingering sense of disconnection and habits that feel hard to talk about, let alone change. As the calendar turns, it is easy to focus on what to cut out. Less alcohol

During National Grief Awareness Week, with its focus on “Growing with Grief,” it’s important to recognise all the ways loss changes us, including the often unspoken grief after the death of an ex-partner. Whether this was your first love, the parent of your child, or someone from a past chapter, you may find yourself quietly mourning, adapting, and gradually growing with this loss. Your grief is real and your growth as you move forward deserves compassion.   Hidden Loss: When

As National Grief Awareness Week begins, I want to bring up the difficult topic of sudden death. Those moments when life changes in an instant, with no warning and no chance to prepare. Sudden death can feel like the ground has opened beneath you, life one minute, gone the next and with no time to say goodbye. It is shocking, disorientating and often very lonely, even when you are surrounded by people who care.   When grief comes out of the blue When someone dies suddenly thr

If you’ve ever watched the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, you might remember the scene where George Bailey ends up alone on a bridge on Christmas Eve, convinced he has let everyone down and that the world would be better off without him. The film eventually shows him how connected he really is, but that moment on the bridge captures something many people quietly recognise at this time of year: the way Christmas can magnify feelings of isolation, embarrassment and shame.

As life gets hectic in the run-up to Christmas, it can be all too easy to forget the power of simply stepping back. Taking a moment, as seen in Jonathan Bailey’s touching “Sesame Street” exchange with Elmo, is a simple but profound act: pausing to breathe, reflect, and just be, no matter what’s happening in life. There’s nothing to feel guilty about when you take a break and do nothing; these pauses are vital for wellbeing. Sometimes, letting yourself slow down for a moment i

As the colder months set in, many of us pause to take stock of the year behind us. For those navigating separation or considering divorce, this season is often especially challenging. With Good Divorce Week now drawing to a close - a national campaign promoting kinder, healthier approaches to separation and family law - we’re invited to reflect on how we can handle endings with more compassion. This campaign is a timely reminder that taking a positive, constructive approach t

Family law demands a rare balance of emotional stamina and sharp thinking. You deal with clients at breaking point, navigating conflict, grief and trauma on a daily basis, while guiding them through some of the hardest decisions of their lives. It’s not just the law you’re managing but the human fallout that comes with it. And through it all, you’re expected to stay calm, composed and relentlessly available.   But that kind of pressure takes its toll. Compassion fatigue, depl

Comedian John Bishop recently said “I’m just a dad. I’ve got three sons and one of them happens to fancy men. That’s it. I don’t see why that’s so hard for people to get their head around”.  His words have been widely praised and understandably so.  Many parents wish they felt that same sense of calm and clarity. But for some, hearing statements like that brings up something unexpected - shame. Shame because it is hard for you. Not because you don’t love your child, but becau

World Mental Health Day, marked each year on October 10, reminds us just how essential it is to invest in our mental health and wellbeing. It’s all about creating a culture where it is okay to talk, to ask for help and to support each other as we navigate life’s challenges. The official theme for 2025 is “Access to services - mental health in catastrophes and emergencies,” urging us all to focus on protecting our minds in unstable times while supporting those around us.​   Al

If you’ve seen the recent headlines, you’ll know that UK Chancellor Rachel Reeves was spotted in tears on the front bench. It’s sparked all sorts of commentary - some sympathetic, some less so - about whether crying in public, or at work, is a sign of weakness, or even a reason to question someone’s ability to do their job. As a counsellor and psychotherapist, I can’t help but feel we’re missing the point.   The Truth About Tears Let’s be honest: crying is part of being human

Wealth and Wellbeing: Finding Balance and Authenticity Having recently attended the TL4 International HNW Divorce and Children Summit, I was reminded of the unique challenges faced by high-net-worth individuals and families - especially around wealth, legacy, and family transitions. The insights shared by legal, financial and PR professionals reinforced the importance of a holistic, collaborative approach to wellbeing during times of change.   When people think about wealth,

As we reach Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, I find myself reflecting on the threads that run through so many of my conversations with clients, friends, and colleagues: the importance of connection, the impact of community, and the gentle courage it takes to talk about our mental health. This year’s theme, community, could not be more timely or more needed. Together, we can overcome challenges Together, we can overcome challenges   Why Community Matters for Our Mental Healt

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