Good Divorce Week: Reflecting Before Blue Monday

As the colder months set in, many of us pause to take stock of the year behind us. For those navigating separation or considering divorce, this season is often especially challenging. With Good Divorce Week now drawing to a close - a national campaign promoting kinder, healthier approaches to separation and family law - we’re invited to reflect on how we can handle endings with more compassion.

This campaign is a timely reminder that taking a positive, constructive approach to divorce not only reduces conflict, but benefits everyone involved, especially as we look ahead to January’s challenges and the emotional weight of ‘Blue Monday.

What a “Good Divorce” Means

Divorce is much more than paperwork. It’s a huge emotional and relational upheaval. Even when it feels like the right decision, it doesn’t mean it’s painless. A ‘good divorce’ is possible when guided by the principles of respectful communication, honesty, and minimising unnecessary conflict.

As a therapist, I often see how separation can become a battleground. Good Divorce Week exists to challenge that, reminding us that healthier choices are possible. It’s about fairness, empathy, and moving forward with less damage, especially when children are involved.

Some things you might want to reflect on:

• How can I keep communication clear, but protect my own boundaries?

• What does fairness look like, for both of us?

• Who can I lean on for support, practically and emotionally?

• How can I help my children (if I have them) feel safe and heard?

Addressing Imbalance in Divorce and Separation

Not every separation proceeds on equal terms. Sometimes, especially in high-net-worth divorces, one partner may feel powerless - whether due to financial disparity, lack of information, or dominating behaviour from the other side. This imbalance can make negotiations and emotional recovery much harder. If you’re in this position, practical steps like seeking independent legal advice, considering mediation, and building a personal support team are vital.

Fairness means both people have a voice, and your rights and wellbeing matter, no matter what your circumstances. It's important to remember that can help ensure both voices are heard, and that complex or high-net-worth situations are managed with transparency and fairness.

Why This Time of Year Feels Hard

These issues of power and fairness can be especially present as emotions run high during the colder months. The period between November and the new year can be a pressure cooker. Family gatherings, changes to routines, and memories of traditions can stir up loss. The days are short, energy runs low, and we’re bombarded with pressure to be cheerful.

It’s easy to feel isolated or overwhelmednand that’s before factoring in the new year and the so-called “Blue Monday,” when even the most resilient among us might feel our mood sink. That’s why now is the right time to make space for reflection and self-care, before January’s challenges arrive.

Preparing Emotionally for January

January is well-known for a spike in new divorce enquiries. The emotional strain and financial worry after Christmas, combined with the urge for a “fresh start,” can push people to take action. Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is described as the ‘saddest day of the year’ and is used by the media to highlight how many people struggle with their mood at this time.

If you’re already struggling, or you sense changes ahead, here are some small ways to care for yourself:

• Notice your feelings, without judgement. Sadness and relief can both be true.

• Plan for tough days: holidays, anniversaries, or new routines. What helps comfort or ground you?

• Reach out to your support team - friends, family, or professionals who can listen.

• Remember your body: sleep, eat, move gently. Stress pulls us out of balance.

• Set intention, not resolutions. Small acts of self-care count.

Co-Parenting Over the Holidays

If you are co-parenting, this stretch of the year holds extra complexity. Trying to “make it magical” for children can be at odds with messy logistics or difficult feelings. What helps is focusing on the child’s emotional wellbeing, keeping explanations simple, and offering lots of reassurance. Predictable routines, gentle honesty, and space for mixed feelings can all help your children adjust. keeping their needs at the centre of all arrangements, which includes working together wherever possible and maintaining predictable routines.

Rediscovering Yourself

Divorce doesn’t just change family dynamics, it often shakes up your self-identity. As you take stock during Good Divorce Week and look towards January, try to hold space for your changing self. Maybe you are grieving, rebuilding confidence, or wondering what comes next. Therapy can be a powerful source of support here: a steady place to sort through tangled emotions and honour the different parts of you that show up.

Small Seeds of Hope

You don’t need to rush towards closure or try to “heal” before the new year. The weeks ahead can instead be about setting small intentions, how about asking, “What do I need?” and “How can I make this just a bit easier on myself and those I care about?” Sometimes hope is as simple as letting yourself believe, bit by bit, that things can get better.

If You’d Like Extra Support

Divorce and relationship changes are hard, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. As an integrative counsellor, I specialise in supporting adults through separation, loss, and new beginnings. If you’re feeling anxious about the festive season, worried about the emotional impact on your family, or just want a safe space to think things through, I offer a free, no-strings 20-minute consultation. Sometimes the hardest part is asking for support. If you’re ready, I’m here to listen.

You can find more information or book your first chat at www.counsellingwithlucy.co.uk.